Full of Faith

I actually slept really well last night and am so grateful! Early this morning though these birds called Cackles are SO loud and were squawking up a storm outside my window. I tried to go back to sleep, a little while later Trisha knocked on my door that we were leaving for church in 20 minutes so I hurried and got ready. Church was great. It was ward conference - the talks were about teaching our children in faith, forgiveness, I can't remember the other talk. I love to watch people and there was this lady sitting a few rows in front of us, she had 3 children. I loved watching her and how she acted with them. There was so much love. I watch how so was stroking her daughters hair and she just had this kindness to her. I want to be that kind of mom.
Sunday school was interesting we had a lesson about Exodus, I wish I understood the Bible better - so many things go right over my head. Priesthood and Relief Society was joint. The stake presidency was giving talks. I really just felt the spirit a lot today.
It has been over cast here since this morning, which is never a good thing for me. Oh gosh, my right leg and body were hurting so badly. I'm sure people were wondering why I couldn't sit still for more than 20 seconds at a time. When we got out of church it was actually raining, my body was exhausted so I came into my room and started reading a book Kathy lent me and totally passed out for like 4 hours. When I woke up I went into the kitchen to talk to Trisha. Some friends of theirs invited us over for dinner. I questioned her to make sure they meant me too, I didn't want to be a burden. She was so quick to say no they know you are here and they want you to come also. We got to their house - they live in such a beautiful neighborhood. I could literally sit and look at Texas houses all day long. They are made of brick and have these really high slanted roofs. I've always loved the style of the homes here. Matt and Annie and 2 little kids - a girl and boy. There little guys is a few months older than Payton. I can't wait for Paytie to grow up! It was really neat to watch how they interacted with their children. Matt was playing with them so much and was so laid back. Those are the kind of thing that those children are going to remember for the rest of their lives. It made me think of how I act with my kids and how i want to strive to be a better mother towards them. I'm so grateful for all the things I've been able to experience so far on this long journey. Today Jeff and Trisha were able to use my laptop so they could skype with his family and show them their new house. I was able to hear them interact with his family. I watched and seen the good example they are about reading their scriptures faithfully and discussing them with each other. They bless all their meals. They just do so many things that invite the spirit into their home, I love this feeling. It has really opened my eyes to things that I can do in my home to invite the spirit into my home more often.
I also got to talk to the kids on skype today and that was really great to see them and I got to read Hailee was of her Fairy Magic books before she went to bed. I'm so grateful for the technology to provide me to do those things.
Trisha and I stayed up and were talking a lot tonight. I probably talked her ear off, but I talk to Payton all day. I told her about my life and my trials and things that have happened and how they made me the person that I am and even though I'd change certain aspects of my life, I'm grateful for them because I've learned many things from them and can hopefully help others one day. It was really neat because here they are this great example to me, but she told me what a great example I've been to her. She wishes her and Jeff can have the same love Kel and I have, she thinks it's wonderful how much I love my children and how I love to talk about them and it shows by my actions. I never really realized how much I could be helping someone by the way I live my life. I was talking to Kathy on the phone Thursday - I was having really hard feeling leaving my kids for so long and being away from them. I was grateful for these feeling though because for so long my heart has kind of been shut off. I always knew how much I loves Hailee and Payton but I couldn't feel it and didn't have to the energy to feel it. Kathy told me how she completely understood. And it's because of our pain, out body and mind are so physically exhausted that the part of our brain that feels those things is going a million miles an hour trying to compensate for all the things going on in our bodies. I was excited because I could feel the love and the sadness in my heart. A few times today I cried about them, but am so glad I could see their faces. It was also neat how Trisha talked to me about my faith and how it amazes her the faith I have, which I know I have faith I'll be healed, but never really thought much about how other perceive it. I just know that at some point we have to put every single ounce of faith we have in Heavenly Father and Jesus and believe that they will place us in the right place at the right time and know that everything will work out according the the Father's will and whatever that might be. I am just so grateful to be a member of a church where we have solid values and have the priesthood. And can call upon it when needed. I'm grateful for my faith and for the inspiration I feel to help me along the way. I hope and pray that I can continue to be an example to those around me. Keep me and my family in your prayers, I start my treatments tomorrow. It's going to be the first day - 6 hours. Good night!