"The Ash" Charity Guitar for Raffle

Before I left for Texas Arcwood Guitars donated a guitar that I could raffle off to help pay for my treatments. It's valued at $3000. I figured that I would love to give those that would love a guitar and can't afford one a chance to own an amazing guitar. I decided to raffle it off - $10 a ticket. You'll have 1 in 500 chance of winning. The more tickets you purchase the lower the ticket price. Our little family thanks you for all your support.
Check out Arcwoods Website to see and hear what "The Ash" is like - it's amazing!!!

The NEW Vecttor Machine is Here!

I know it's been forever since I blogged about my RSD. As you know I came home in April without the new VECTTOR machine. Just with the STS machine, which worked great while I was in Texas but my frequencies change multiple times daily the machine just wasn't working. About 2 weeks ago I finally received my VECTTOR machine! I was calling Dr. Rhodes office all the time about the arrival - I completely felt like I was bugging them to death. I'm back to having pain like I did before I left for Texas. I started my treatments a few weeks ago. I'm understanding everyday why it's so important to receive treatments away where you can relax. You know, I try my hardest to be a good mom, but I'm exhausted. We get up in the morning and I drive Hais to school. Come home and be with Payton until he takes a nap. If I'm actually having a good day which a far and few between then I might pick up the house a little. I've had to come to the realization that my house will never be how it used to be. As long as my RSD is bad, it's just going to have to be a little dirty and there's going to be dishes in the sink.
My treatments are going ok, it's just really hard trying to get both treatments in before I pick up Hailee from school. Payton has been having a really hard time sleeping lately. After the kids are in bed, I start my night treatments. I've been so tired I usually fall asleep during my treatment and wake up when the machine beeps at me. I drag myself to my room - get undressed, brush my teeth and wash my face. Then crawl in bed and pass out. In Texas I was able to sleep all day long so my body could start to heal. Here at home, I'm trying to adjust my life accordingly and be a mom at the same time.
It's hard for someone who's never experienced this pain to understand. You see me and see my smiling but you don't see past the smile and see the retching pain on the inside and see how I'm physically and mentally exhausted. The only thing I want in the whole world is to be a good mom and wife. Yes, I'd love to be pain free again at some point you realize that you have this for life. I can be in remission, but the pain can always come back. I'm really grateful to have a few people in my life who truly know what I'm going through and can sympathize.
I predict the treatments to take a few months to start working. It's crazy how much my body can change in even 30 minutes. I'm really grateful for this new machine and how it can properly adjust to treat me the way my body needs it to. I'm still fighting with the insurance company because they won't pay for my treatments. I still owe family members about $3500 they let us borrow so i could go to Dr Rhodes. I find myself each day with so much on my plate to accomplish and I'm lucky if one of those things happens. I'll keep you updated soon.

Jellyfish on Shore

I woke up today and was pretty amazed how little pain I have in my body. I truly believe that Dr. Rhodes is amazing and am so grateful for his gift and knowledge to heal people from this awful disease. I see people everyday who have suffered so long from this RSD and even children and teenagers. it breaks my heart how badly they suffer. I'm so glad I've only had to suffer 8 months. Actually less than that because I've been hooking up to Kathy's machine since January. When I started on her machine my toes were curled and I could move them, extremely painful. It felt like my foot was broken, it hurt to walk, drive, move it, not move it, everything I did hurt. I'm just so grateful. I went for my testing again today - they tested upper body again. What do ya know... I get to stay on the same protocol and frequencies. My body is really responding well to the protocols he has me on, they are working great. I just have to make sure I be smart and not get injured. Or let the kids jump on me or it will all come back instantly and I'll have to start all over.
When I got home, I hooked up and watched a movie. Trisha was trying to do her toe nails but she's got a preggo belly so I took her polish off for her. Oh I miss doing nails!
Then we got in the car and drove to Padre Island. I think we were at Padre Balli Park Beach. It's crazy, you can drive your car up to the water here. So different from Cali. Oh, the water and the waves. I love the waves, I could sit there all day and stare at them. We took our shoes off and went to walk on the beach. Jeff was so crazy - he kept walking further and further out into the water. It was to his shoulders! I got soaked too, but only just above my knees. A huge wave came up on shore and soaked us. The water was great, I would have loved to go for a swim and I don't even like going in the ocean. It was so warm and inviting. As we were walking there was a jellyfish on the sand. I got excited and took a picture, the lady near by said it was a cabbage jellyfish and they don't sting. There are the one's the sea turtles eat. Walking further I actually saw 3 more. There was also this super fuzzy worm, it was pretty big. I love this picture - I'm going to turn it into a black and white. I picked up a few shells for Hais to keep in our shell candle holder in the kids bathroom. On our way back to our chairs, there was this guy making a sand sculpture of a shark eating a human. it was awesome! So we took pictures with it, it wasn't finished yet, but it still looked cool. We actually talked with them for a little while. He owns Davies Trees. He's actually done the tree work at the San Antonio, Nauvoo, Salt Lake, and one other temple. Pretty interesting. They were such a nice family! We went back and sat in the chair for a few minutes watching the waves. Then we sat under a little ramada when it became available. Then we drove to this cute gift shop and I got a few things for the kids. I came home and took a shower, yuck I was covered in sand. I'm totally going to have to scrub the shower, there is so much sand left behind. Then I took a nap and watched another movie. Trisha wasn't feeling well, she gets really bad pains in her stomach. I went out to see if she needed anything. I decided to pain her toes for her so I gave her a little pedicure. She's never had anything but pink or red on her toes before. I couldn't believe it! So I painted them purple and put a cute white iridescent daisy on her big toes. they turned out SO cute! Then we decided to go to Whataburger for food. It took them forever to make my burger (another hour and I could have had breakfast food, too bad it wasn't a guy at the register, I could have gotten him to allow my to get pancakes - girls are harder to convince how much you would rather have pancakes than a burger). Anyways, since it took forever - they gave me free fries.
Oh yeah... and Kel called while him and Payton were at Jack in the Box. He said Payt was so insistent on there being icecream cones there and he kept telling Payton no they don't have ice cream. he finally realized that Payton thought jack was an upside down ice cream cone. He's such a funny little boy!
I got to talk to Payt for a few minutes on Skype - he made faces at me. I then went and finished Trisha's manicure. I did french tips with daisy's on each finger. It looks so good. She never does her nails so it was a real treat for her. I'm so glad I could do that for her, I miss doing nails. Hailee called while I was finishing so I called her back, we read a story then here I am now blogging. I'm trying to decide if I should straighten my hair tonight or just do it in the morning. I hate waking up early. My appointment is at 8AM and i have to be ready for church when I go because church starts at 9AM. Well I hope you enjoyed my day!

70 mph Winds

So last night I had every intention of going to bed early. Then the winds started. My window was rattling so badly! I started looking at radar on different websites and went to tornadovideos.net. There were tornado warning and even one tornado in the more western part of Texas. There was an extreme wind advisory here until 4 AM. The winds got to 70 mph. It was crazy, at one point the power went out. It reminded me of AZ's fun monsoon storms with out the lightning and rain. I finally decided I should go to bed.
I woke up this morning actually feeling pretty good. My right foot was hurting pretty badly and my left shoulder, but for the most part I was doing a little better today. The office was super excited for the cookies! I did my testing and they kept me on the same protocol and frequencies since they seem to be working. I just have to be super careful not to do anything stupid that is going to hurt myself. I love that I've made so many new friends here at the clinic. We see each other driving in/out and we wave to each other. There a genuine concern for each other and our well being.
I came home and had some pancakes, then hooked up to my machine. I had every intention of taking a nap but instead watched all my shows I missed last night on hulu. When I finally did fall asleep, after an hour or so, Doori called to ask me if I took her a package yesterday. I said yes. She had been asleep and the front desk guy knocked on her door and said there was a package for her. She was confused thinking that maybe somehow he sister had gotten her crackers and gatorade, she called to see if she had sent them, but nope. I guess when she went to Dr. Rhodes she asked if they sent them over to the hotel, they had no clue what she was talking about. Then she realized it must have been me. She just called to say thank you. I imagine it's hard for her to be here all by herself and now they want her to stay 9 extra days. I'm glad I followed my prompting to help her - I told her if she needs anything to please call me. Also that Trisha is a nurse in case she needs anything.
I've felt really lethargic this afternoon. I was sick to my stomach. I've not felt really hungry, but know I need to eat. I lied down and started to watch a movie and passed out for like 3 hours. Ate some dinner and came in here to talk to Hais and to read to her. My Grandma is out of the hospital and back home. I'm grateful we get to keep her a little longer. Hais just informed me she has no school Monday, so she'll have to stay with Mamo an extra day. I think they are going to go to the Glendale Public Library. She will be amazed, out library by our house is pretty tiny. Well... I'm going to go grab another brownie and hook up to my machine. I have my appointment at 9 AM and then in the afternoon we are going to the beach! Yeah I'm so excited! That has to be one of my favorite place on this earth. Good night!

The Coast Guard Experience

Last night I was tired but just could go to sleep. When I did sleep it was actually a pretty good night sleep. I got up and got ready for the day. Last night Jeff and Trisha were given tickets to the boat show today. I went to my appointment. Dr. Rhodes came in and talked to me. For the most part I was feeling pretty good. The pain was really bad in my shoulders and across my sternum, in my right ankle and calf, and my left knee. I told him that my sinuses have clogged up again. I said a silent prayer that he would be guided in his decisions today for my treatments. He decided to keep my lower body protocol the same since it seemed to be helping a lot. He changed my upper body back to the shoulder and sinus protocol. 5 days left! He's hoping the machines get here in time, they are supposed to be here next week. This volcano has really messed things up! If I get home before they come they will send me the new one and then I'll send them my machine back. I guess I'm starting to feel overwhelmed with gladness. I'm finally starting to feel somewhat more relief. I asked him about some medical questions. I have some moles that have gotten a lot larger He said it's from the lack of circulation in my body from the RSD. Hopefully when I'm in remission, they will shrink again. If not and I have to get them removed then I'm supposed to call first so that they can put me on a special protocol before the removal so it won't relapse the RSD. I also asked him about braces. My teeth have shifted and it's driving me crazy. He said NO! At least not for 1 year. That will relapse the RSD quickly too. (Trauma to the mouth). He's really hopeful that I'll be in remission really soon.


When I got home Trisha and I left for the boat show. It was SO windy! It was incredible! There were some huge yachts! I loved watching the water, it's so beautiful and peaceful. You could actually see the USS Lexington in the distance. Wow, it was so large. I made friends with some of the Coast Guard guys and got them to hold Max and Ducka in a few pictures. Then we went to the 81ft Coast Guard ship and took a tour. It was incredible. They have a rescue boat that comes out of a hydrolic door. On the bow of the boat the have 2 - 50 Caliber guns on each side. If you look really closely at the Coast Guard on the right and notice his right arm, he's got a really cool tattoo. Since I love tattoos, I asked him what it meant. He said that's the tattoo they get when they've finished 50,000 miles out on the sea. Above that tattoo, you can't really see it but I noticed he had a hula girl. When we were inside, I noticed a hula girl doll on the dash (or whatever they call it). I asked if there was some meaning behind the hula girl. He said yeah it's kinda their motto/ logo it keeps them going. I thought that was pretty interesting. The ship was just so amazing. They said we were like those kids on the field trips that ask a million questions. The guys that was giving is the tour was pretty new so his buddy had to come and answer questions he couldn't answer. It was funny. We got to inside and see all the radar equipment. They were excited that they have XM radio so they can actually listen to music while out on the ocean. They protect our coast from drug and immigrant smugglers, illegal fishermen, etc. When the tour was over we saw these really cool benches and tables. This is the biggest yacht I have ever seen in real life. It was huge! It also had a ski boat it pulled or somehow connected to and also another boat on the top deck, maybe as a safety vessel. We peeked in the front door area and saw into the dining room. The chandelier was a blown glass - incredible! I can't even fathom how much that thing cost. They also have the Selena memorial here, here's a picture. We walked back to the car. We ran a few errands and went to the grocery store. Doori wasn't feeling well this morning (another patient at Dr. Rhodes) so I dropped some crackers and Gatorade at her hotel. Hopefully the front office guy took them to her, she's been pretty sick the last few days. Then when we got home, I hurried and hooked up to my machine. I didn't get to finish the 2nd half of my upper body protocol. I got sick to my stomach and had to stop it early. It was ok though cause the Missionaries came over for dinner. Trisha had made the most delicious chicken enchiladas in the crock pot. After dinner I helped clean up and then made cookies for the office. Oh... and Jason Faras called! (He's my best friend from High School) He called to see what I was doing, I told him I was in Texas. He said how far from El Paso are you? I googled it 9.5 hours. Shoot! He was heading to AZ but would have stopped to say hi if I wasn't the complete opposite direction. He was heading home from the weekend because he's leaving for another tour to Afghanistan. That so bums me out that I don't get to see him again, we missed each other last time he came home too. Kel and I usually go out to dinner or go shooting with Jason. He has very colorful language so it's usually adults only. LOL! He's funny, he tries not to cuss so much around me, but it never works.
I was able to Skype with both kids tonight. Oh I can't wait to see them next week and just hold them in my arms. I'll probably cry when I get home and not want to put them down. I sure miss Kel a lot too. I'm really grateful for him and how he's really stepped up to take care of Hais. Well 3 more minutes for my lower body treatment then 40 more for my upper. Then I should probably go to bed at a somewhat decent hour tonight because I need to get up early and take a shower. I was so sticky when I woke up this morning. Gross! Oh yeah and can we say it is super crazy windy here and even more windy at the beach. I'd hate to be here during a hurricane. Well hope you enjoyed my picture from today!

Another Sunny Day

Last night was pretty rough. It took me hours to fall asleep then I was having a hard time staying asleep. I woke up in good spirits though. I got up and got dresses and put half my makeup on. Trisha had me drive myself in the accord this morning. As I was driving I saw a another older model civic that was the exact same color, same spoiler, same everything as hers. I freaked out thinking someone had stolen their car since Jeff meets others and they car pool while leaving their cars in one place. I got a good look at the guy and the license plate. I tried calling 3 times and no answer. I finally got a hold of her and luckily it wasn't the same license plate. How random to see the exact same looking car.
At Dr. Rhodes this morning, I was actually feeling pretty good. Now don't get me wrong, a good day for me is having bearable pain. The pain is still there just not a severe today. No more migraine either. I made the office cookies last night and of course forgot them! At least they were tasty! I'll have to make them more. After my testing, they kept me on the same protocols and frequencies today since they were helping.
When I got back to the house I talked to my mom and Paytie for a few minutes. Then Trisha and I went over to the church to help make dolls for the humanitarian project. I'm actually a really good whip stitcher! The dolls were really cute! They are bringing me the template to church on Sunday. It was nice to be able to get to know a few of the sisters in the ward better.
When we got back I hooked up to my machine then pretty much was asleep until 6:30PM. I made a sandwich, watched American Idol online, and started my 2nd treatment of the day. I got to Skype with Payton - he's so funny!He kept making faces at me sticking out his tongue and making himself burp. He can burp multiple times on command. It's really humorous. Kel and Hais called me. Kel shaved his head, I was so mad! At least he didn't BIC it, it's just really short. Hailee told me about her day. I can't believe she graduates from Kindergarten in a month! She getting so grown up.
I'm going to finish reading my scriptures and go to bed, I'm a little sick to my stomach tonight. Need that rest! Good night!

Soap Suds

I actually slept kinda well last night, went to bed with a killer migraine. Took 3 Alieve thankfully it helped me sleep. Woke up with a little migraine left. I drive to Dr. Rhodes, half way there I realized I forgot my machine at the house. Gosh Dang It! I couldn't turn around to get it cause I was already going to be late. I go there and Tamara sent me to room 6. I sat there for like 10 minutes then went up front and was like does anyone even know I'm here? Yeah she never told them I came. My usualy girl came in. I told her about my nasty migraine from the night before and so she went to go to talk to Dr. Rhodes. He put my on a new Protocol where the electrodes mostly go on my fingers.
He stopped by my room and I told him I wanted to talk with him. He sat down and I asked him more about RSD and told him to tell me medically why my pain keep jumping around so much. He said that the RSD goes through the blood meaning our blood goes through our entire body and where I'm experiencing the most pain is where my blood isn't circulating very well. He told me that I really need to make sure I'm eating A LOT of protein. He said to carry walnuts or almonds in my purse and to eat some every single hour. He said that RSD can make you hypoglycemic. He asked if I ever crave sugar and it's because of the RSD. I might eat something sugary and it might help for 10 minutes but then I'll crash. It's because my body is really craving the protein not the sugar. So this is my new venture... LOTS OF PROTEIN! I questioned about when the new machines will be in, he said they can't get here until the volcano in Iceland stops because it's seized all flights in Europe. I had no idea there was even a volcano. Being here I'm so out of the loop about what's going on in the world! (I found this picture later and I googled the volcano. It's my favorite picture I found) I asked my tech if protein shakes are ok (I love smoothies!) She said sure, yeah even beef jerky would be great to keep in my purse. During my testing today she had to test a lot of different frequencies. Finally she got one that had a great reading, she was super stoked! During the testing electrodes are placed in the area where the protocol states and then black things (would look like leg warmers but for your fingers) are placed on my pointer fingers and then a wire that reads temperatures are places touching my fingers is inserted. I have to warm up for 4 minutes before the testing starts. Then she starts setting the machine to different frequencies at4 minute intervals and a mini laptop records that temperature readings. If my body heats up too much or cools down too much then the machine gets a negative reading. You get a positive reading when your body responds well to an average temperature increase. The machine knows what your body needs! Since I forgot my machine they gave me very specific instructions to reset the frequencies myself.
On the way home I stopped and filled up Trisha's car with gas, I knew they'd never take gas money from me, so I figured that was the best way since they could give it back. Then I stopped at Whataburger to pick us up some breakfast. It was so yummy!
Then I started my new protocols, they did help a little today. I had no migraine until 3 PM. I took a nap, then asked Trisha if she could pick me up some Excedrin. I called Kathy to tell her about what Dr. Rhodes had said and to see how Bill was doing. She said his surgery went great! He didn't snap the tendon, it was actually a blood clot in the wrist and he didn't sever the nerve either it was just bruised. It was the best case scenario! Trisha made chicken tacos for dinner, they were really good. I made some cookies to take to the office tomorrow. I love cookies, I could eat them all day, but then I'd gain a ton of weight. I went and took a shower and then talked to Hais and read to her. Kel got on and talked to me too. Hailee tattled and told me how Daddy made bubbles come out of the dish washer. Kel said well there was a pre-wash thing in the dish washer so I put some dish soap in there. It wasn't a lot of soap suds I only used 2 towels to clean it up. Oh goodness! I asked if he missed me. He said yeah I'm excited for you to take back over your wifely duties. I thought me being gone would make him appreciate me more, but to him he thinks it's easy. I tried to explain that I take care of kids all day plus everything else and I'm in horrible pain. He'll never understand unfortunately. I just pray I'm better when I get back. I got to talk to Payton for a few minutes. Kel had told me that every time Payton sees he asks if I'm on the plane. I can't wait, one more week and I can see my family. I miss them. I miss their faces and the funny things they say to me. Well, better go to bed. Have a good night!

A Sunny Day

I woke up to the sun this morning. You know what that means - no rain! It's actually a sunny day! I got to Dr. Rhodes this morning and was in tears. The pain in my legs and across my back is so severe. The tech talked to Dr. Rhodes and they put my on a new protocol and changed the positions of the electrodes. It seems to be helping some, the pain is still there but definitely not as severe.
When I got home I started to work on the baby remembrance book for Lynette and Anthony. I pretty much just took their blog and told the story with it. It turned out so good! I'm really excited for them to receive it. As I was working on the book I started to get a really bad migraine. I took some Alive but that didn't do anything for me. Today was kinda just a slow day, pretty much hung out in my room since my head hurt so badly. I did not take a nap though, I'm trying to get back on a normal sleep schedule. Trisha made french toast and eggs for dinner and they were super yummy. Then I've just been watching a movie and tv on my laptop.
Kathy texted me to let me know Bill's surgery went well. Please keep him in your prayers for a fast recovery.
After I was finished with my treatments tonight, I was able to be a part of Jeff dedicating their house to the Lord. It was neat to be able to experience that with them. I'm really grateful for them and the people that they are, they are so kind and so good natured and hearted.
Hailee called so I could read to her. She wanted me to read more but my head hurts so badly. Kel was telling me that they are so busy at work and Zeb is gone for 2 weeks. Kel has been leaving 1.5 hours early everyday so he could get Hais. Hopefully we can figure something out so he's not so stressed out the rest of the week. I hope he's excited for me to come home. I think he feels frustrated that my treatments haven't been going better. He likes immediate results and this is a process and takes time. I know I've felt frustrated, but need to just continue to be faithful and put my health in the Lords hands and whatever be his will for me.
I asked them tonight if there were any chiropractors in their ward because I know this migraine isn't leaving until my neck gets adjusted. I felt bad, they called the bishop at 10 PM and there is one in the ward, but we'll call him tomorrow. Trisha made some popcorn to snack on - oh I love popcorn and had to finally walk out of the room so I wouldn't eat anymore.
So here I am blogging now, I'm going to go to bed in a few minutes as soon as the banana bread is finished. I love fresh bread out of the oven...mmmmm - so yummy! Good night!

Please, please make it stop!

About 2 AM here last night Hailee woke up as was most upset. When she's tired and disillusional, she's very unreasonable. She kept telling stop trying to force me to go to the bathroom, I don't need to! She was screaming and crying. All I wanted to do was hold her in my arms and love her. Then she realized I didn't read to her, so she called me on Skype. The screen kept going black - I wasn't getting very good internet last night. That upset her so much, she couldn't see my face. Finally, I called her on the phone and left Skype up so she could see me. She finally calmed down and when I was finished she went potty and got her jammies on and went back to bed. I cried though... it's pain wrenching watching your child cry and not be able to hold them and kiss them. I went to bed, slept ok, still had really bad pain in the back of my thighs when I woke up. I actually reset my alarm clock I was so tired. I had to hurry though because I set an early appointment so that I could go to church. I hurried and got dressed and put in my make up. I drove myself to the Dr. this morning. I got there and they started the testing. It was so funny because I kept falling asleep in my chair, but the machine beeped every 4 minutes. I finally asked for a blanket because I was freezing! I don't do coldness... that is why I live in Arizona.
As soon as I was finished I hurried and drove 35 mph to church. This whole city has super low speed limits! I got there as they were singing the sacrament song. Trisha and Jeff were actually asked to speak in church this morning. They gave great talks. I missed Sunday school, I was sitting in the foyer talking to a sister that has firbomyalgia. I told Dora about Dr. Rhodes... we talked a lot about how people with these pain condition - how we rely on our faith so much to get us through our worst times. Before I went into Relief Society I saw Lynette and Anthony in the hallway, so I went over and said hi. They were the couple that came over Friday night. I'm so impressed by them, just meeting them and talking with them you can tell that they are genuinely good people. She invited me to they babies memorial service tonight.
I loved how strongly I felt the spirit in Relief Society. This ward is really amazing, they joke a lot but I love how first thing - turn to your neighbors and give them hugs. And before class started so many came up to greet me and see how I was doing. Bishop's wife was sitting behind me, they invited us over for dinner tonight. The lesson was about the Holy Ghost and how we feel it in our lives. At one point I felt impressed to add to the lesson that the more we act upon those promptings we receive the easier it will be for us to receive more promptings and to know and feel them. When class was over, the sister next to me came over and asked if I had everything I needed. I told her how wonderful Trisha and Jeff have been to me and I was doing ok. Another sister had come over too and they said well there are a lot of us that do nothing all day and would love to help if needed. This ward has really gone above and beyond in helping me. I also told a few of the sisters about Kathy and how hopefully she'd be coming soon. They are so excited and willing to help her to. I'm so grateful to be a member of a church that has the faith that we do, but most importantly where the people have such big hearts and follow their promptings to help those in need. I know especially after this experience i will never again deny a prompting I feel to help someone. I loved the song we sang... I'll go where you want me to go. I love the words.
After church I came home and called Kel and Paytie. They were actually at Bass Pro Shop instead of church. Kel said I just want to spend boy time with my son since I won't see him for a week. Payton was telling me all about the little fish! He was so excited! I started my new protocol. I started watching New Moon, but then had to pause it because I was so tired. I actually fell asleep. When my machine told me I was finished I unhooked all my electrodes and rolled over and went back to sleep. At some point I need to get on a normal sleep schedule again. When I awakened, I had to hurry because we were supposed to be at the Volcansek's house for dinner. We got there and instantly I felt so comfortable. They are truly good people. I helped broil the bread and we talked for a few minutes before dinner. Bishop is in the Air Force and a fighter pilot. And she owns a vinyl graphic business. They had this amazing family tree, I'd love to get one for Dana and I think I'm going to do that while I'm still here. Oh she'd love that! There was another couple at dinner tonight who were baptized a few months ago. They were such kind people, I love how I could see that sparkle in their eyes. You know I really am so grateful for this adventure I get to be a part of, I have learned so much while I've been here, it's incredible.
We got to the church for William's memorial. Wow... the spirit was so strong. There were a lot of people who attended. First the bishop spoke then Lynette. She's amazing. In December she went on bed rest and shortly there after went on bed rest in the hospital. She was only 21 weeks. William was born on Feb 2 weighing only 10 oz. He was so tiny. The Dr's didn't give him much chance of surviving, but he live for 9 weeks. And got to touch the lives of those around him for 9 weeks. Then they showed a video with pictures of him, there wasn't a dry face. The love the Vance's had for their son was incredible. Anthony then gave a closing talk. He talked about the bond between a son and his mother. How true that is, when you can hold them and feel them. I hope she remembers that feeling forever of holding little Will in her arms against her chest. Afterwards, I gave Lynette a hug and just thanked her for allowing me to be a part of their lives. They are so strong and so faithful. They both inspire me so much.
When we came home I was able to hook up to my machine and start working on Trisha's wedding album. It's done, she just has to journal all her stories. I'm so happy I could do that for them. Kathy called and we talked for quite a while. Bill is having surgery tomorrow, please pray for him. He's the closet thing I have to a dad. I'm really grateful for him, I want to have a dad so badly, I really miss mine. I'm just glad to know that I can always turn to Bill when I need him and he will always be there for me. Kathy told me while I'm at Dr. Rhodes to really tell them all my pain issues and stop putting on my happy face. While I'm there tomorrow, I think we are going to have a sit down to see if we can manage my pain better.
As I sat down at the computer tonight, the pain in my legs got really bad. I was in tears, I fervently started to pray begging please, please make it stop. Please just make in bearable. I've always been able to handle a lot of pain and know the Lord won't give us more than we can handle, but I think I'm pretty close to my limit. Shortly after I finished praying, the pain slowly started to decrease to a level i can at least handle and doesn't have me bend over in tears. for that I'm most grateful. I almost closed out of facebook, but decided to just open a new window instead to blog. I'm so glad I did. I have a friend who's son will have passed away a year ago on the 30th. I'm not a preachy type, I have my faith but don't share it very often. He's so kind to always ask how I'm feeling, then I asked how he was doing. He's really having a hard time right now with the anniversary so close. I kept feeling prompted on what to say to him to try to help and comfort him and let him know what I believe. I felt so strongly to share with him the faith i have and how and pray that he will be able to find the same peace in his heart that I have felt after losing my family members. Finally, I felt that I needed to ask him if he'd like to learn more from the missionaries and he wanted to, I know that when we pray our prayers are answered. Maybe not the way we expected but people come into our lives when we need them the most. I hope that when he does speak with the missionaries that he will have an open heart and mind to what they will teach him about families and how we can be together forever and the after life. I believe this with my whole heart and know it to be true. I wouldn't be where I am today had it not been for my faith. It's late, i better go to bed. Another early morning tomorrow.

Will it Ever End?

I actually slept ok last night, I sure didn't want wake up though. I got up and got ready for my appointment. Guess what... it's over cast still. At my appointment they tried me on a new protocol and after testing reset my frequencies again. Hopefully they will find a perfect one for me soon. My pain was really bad in my thighs and ankles last night and this morning. After my appointment we stopped at a piano store so Jeff could shop around. It's amazing watching him play, he's really good!
At home I actually didn't take a nap, at one point I was really tired but fought it off. Mom called and said Grandma wasn't doing well, she was in ICU. She can't died while I'm here, I can't leave my treatments early or I won't get better. I think I have the best sister ever. Dana called to see how I was doing with my treatments and with the Grandma situation. I told her my frustrations, I could drive to Utah if grandma dies but then there's a possibility of re injuring myself from driving for so long. Remembering she just spend a grand on my kids and I to fly us to Disneyworld for a week with them. She told me she'd fly me to Utah too if needed. I'm really grateful to have her in my life and that family is so important to her. I hope she realizes how important she is to me. With me having to pay $8000 to get treatments here in Texas, I'm pretty broke right now. She doesn't even question it, they are just willing to help us.
I watched a movie while doing my laundry, I need to iron but that can wait for another day. Mom called Grandma is doing better - she's out of the ICU and into a regular room. If you are reading this keep her in your prayers. I can't lose someone else right now, not right now. Trisha made stir fry for dinner. It was really good. Then a spent time copying recipes into a notebook. I'm going to try really hard to actually start cooking a lot more. I know Kel would appreciate it! While I was going through recipes, of course it started raining again. Will it ever end?
Then I took a shower. I don't know if it was from running out of hot water and the cold touched my skin or just from getting out of the shower, the worst pain I've felt in a long time was shooting up the back of my thighs. I immediately got really sick to my stomach and was in tears. Then my ankle got really stiff. I got dressed and came in to hook up to my machine. The pain in still there but not as intense as it was a few hours ago. Hopefully when I fall asleep, I'll be tired enough my body will allow me to sleep through the entire night. It's going to be an early morning tomorrow, Dr. appt at 8 AM (that's 6 AM in Phoenix!) then I have to hurry to get to church by 9AM.
I started uploading Trisha and Jeff's wedding photos to Heritage Makers, I'm going to make them a wedding album to thank them for their hospitality.
I didn't really get to talk to my kids at all today which makes me kinda sad. I talked to Paytie for a minute but he was in the shower. Hailee had been at a party all day. I guess at one point she asked the babysitter if her fake tree was real or fake. Chris said fake. Hailee said Oh good! Then the chipmunks in my head won't try to climb it then. She's so silly and has such an imagination.
I better go to sleep I have to be up in 6 hours. Good night!

He really does answer our Prayers

I just thought I'd catch everyone up on the auction. We didn't have quite the success we wanted or expected from the auction. All the remaining items are going to be placed on Ebay and craiglist or facebook to repay those allowing me to borrow the remaining monwy needed for the treatments. I guess I let my faith waver a little, I felt so strongly that the money would come and it had been. I am so grateful for all those that have shown up at my door step with checks saying they felt impressed to bring me a check. They apologized it wasn't more, but if they only knew the gratitude I felt for them in my heart. Modern Woodmen has been great too, they matched me the $2500 and I should get the check as I'm boarding the airplane. I've been worried still because I only have $5000 and the treatment alone is $6600 not including my plane tickets, housing, car rental, food, etc. I got a phone call last night and it was the family that is letting me stay with them. They are truly an answer to so many prayers. She asked if there was anything I needed while I was there and I told her that I just needed a ride so I could rent a car. She stopped me and said that between her and the other members of Relief Society they would get me to my appointments so I didn't have to rent a car. When we hung up I just thanked my Heavenly Father for this Corpus Christi ward and it's members. These people have no clue who I am, but are so willing to help me. I'm so humbled and grateful for them. I'm going to try to get the remaining items on ebay this week. After the auction I couldn't function for 3 days and slept most of the time because I couldn't walk the pain was so bad. I'm just trying to get everything ready and my children situated. Being gone from them for 20 days is going to be so hard. I am so grateful for the internet though so I can still see their beautiful faces everyday!

Arcwood Guitar Delay

The ArcWood Guitar will not be ready in time for the auction. Bill, the owner called me tonight and said the lacquer needs to cure for about another week to prevent scratching. I will post photos ASAP. This guitar also comes with a 1 year Service warranty. As the guitar sets it will need a few adjustments for optimal sound. Thanks for your understanding! ArcWood is really sorry the guitar won't be there, but they want it to be perfect for you! There will be the Leopard Wood Guitar on Display so you can see and hear the ArcWood quality.

Luncheon Special $6.99

While you are at the auction, if you get hungry waiting to see if someone out bid you, Dillon's has a GREAT luncheon special! Any sandwich on the menu only $6.99!!! I can tell you from personal experience their food is amazing - the best BBQ in town. Their food is so good Kelvin and I had our Wedding Luncheon at Dillon's! So come to the auction to help me out, but let's get some lunch while we are there!

Dillon's Arrowhead Address: 20585 N. 59th Ave., Glendale, AZ 85308
Directions. Take the Loop 101 around to 59th Ave, exit going North and it will be on your left hand side about 1/2 mile down the road.

So Grateful...

I haven't really left the house the house the last few days. I actually went to the mail box after I got home from an errand. I sat in the truck and was going through the mail. I opened a letter from a friend and it was a donation. I immediately was overwhelmed with gratitude and started to cry. I can't express how many times in the last few weeks that I've opened a letter or someone had donated through the donate button and there's been money there to help me get better. I'm so completely humbled and grateful for all the help. I'm not a person that usually asks for help, but under these circumstances I had no other choice. It's truly been an amazing experience for me to see the goodness in family, friends, and complete strangers. So thank you.

Silent Auction Event Details

Please Come and Help Support Ashley to Raise the Funds Needed to Receive Medical Treatments from Dr. Rhodes in Texas!

Action Item Website Almost Finished!

The Auction Item Website is almost finished. Wilcox Computers is almost finished with all the coding. It will have each item that has been donated and a description. To thank all the wonderful people that have donated to the action their emails or websites will have links for you to view. Please let help those that have helped me!
LOOK FOR THE WEBSITE THIS WEEKEND!!!

Save the Date!

Mr. Dillon from Dillon's Restaurant called my mom today and is allowing us to hold the silent auction at their restaurant. We will be having the Auction on March 27th from 2:00 - 5:00 PM at the Arrowhead Location. 20585 N. 59th Ave, Glendale, AZ 85308. (1/2 mile North of the Loop 101 on the East side of 59th Ave). I just really wanted to thank Dillon's for all their help. They will also be passing out flyers to their customer informing them about the auction, so go eat at one of their restaurants and look for flyers in the next few weeks!

I feel so grateful and so humbled

Since the accident I haven't given much thought to the auction, but it was always nagging me in the back of my mind. My pain over the last few months has gotten progressively worse and worse to where I was at the point I wake up in the middle of the night crying because I can't get the pain to stop. Being a mother of two young children - I can't call in sick. So often, I feel like a horrible mother because I'm so exhausted from not sleeping that I'm short with the kids or I'm not playing with them like I should because I just want to sleep on the couch while they play. So this morning, I decided that I was going to get dresses and put on makeup and be a mom. I did that, I'm so excited to go to Texas and get these treatments so I can be a good mom to my kids and a good wife to Kelvin.
So today while Payton was taking a nap, I decided to sit down and actually update this blog. I also did a few posting on Facebook asking my friends and family for help. Help to donate items or services. Anything that can help me in having a successful auction to raise the money I need to get to Texas. I did call Dr. Rhodes office again this morning and they did confirm that my insurance will not cover any of my expenses because Dr. Rhodes is out of network. I kept me head up and just kept calling around for people to help. As the day progressed I found myself on my knees over and over again thanking my Heavenly Father for sending people into my life and for their love and support. I have had so many people contact me today offering items and asking how they can help me. Some people I haven't seen since high school. Another a person that doesn't know me except for being a sister in Sorority Life on Facebook. My heart is just truly humbled. It makes me realize that I need to be more of a person like that, a person that will help a complete stranger because that is what Jesus would do and so many times I have turned down the opportunity to help others. I have honestly learned such a great lesson today and am truly humbled by the love and support from those around me.
Also, this morning I tried to contact a bishop for our church that is located in Corpus Christi to see if there would be a family that would allow me to stay in a spare room or would rent me a room for 17 days while I'm in Texas. I was googling all different things. Finally I found a church building 1.45 miles from Dr. Rhodes office. I actually called the mission office and asked if they knew what wards met there. They sent me to http://www.mormon.org to locate a meeting house. from there I was able to see the different wards and able to contact a bishop. As I called the Bishop today, I caught him just before he was leaving for work. I was so grateful for him and his willingness to help and ask a few members he had in mind. He just assured me that the Lord does work miracles and knew that everything would work out and my children would be ok while I'm gone. I've really worried about leaving Hailee and Payton, but know it what I need to do so I can get rest everyday so my body can heal properly from the treatments. I'm so grateful for my mom and the members of my ward who have offered to help take care of them and take Hailee to school everyday while I'm gone. I'm just so grateful.

Auction Date Change

The date for the Auction has been postponed and will be announced in a few days. I was in a really bad car accident a few weeks ago and the ball was dropped on organizing the auction. It will be in the middle of March on a Saturday during the day. Thanks so much for all the love and support!

Gold Canyon Candles Fundraiser

Gold Canyon has so graciously allowed me to do a fundraiser with them. They will donate 40% of all candles sales to help pay for my treatment and related expenses. Candle ordering started February 1, 2010. Below is a list of candles available. If you would like to help out and take candle orders please contact me for a fundraising packet. Thank you so much!
*Please make candle checks payable to Ashley Pugmire.

Candles / Sizes Available (tax and shipping included in prices):
26 oz. $25.25
16 oz. $21.25
8 oz. $16.50

•Apple Spice
•Ginger Lime
•Cinnamon
•Grapefruit Splash
•Cinnamon Vanilla
•Pomegranate
•Clean Sheets
•Rose
•Cotton Splash
•Strawberry Shortcake
•Cranberry Orange
•Sweet Pea
•Cucumber Melon
•Wildflowers
•Fresh Orange