I know it's been forever since I blogged about my RSD. As you know I came home in April without the new VECTTOR machine. Just with the STS machine, which worked great while I was in Texas but my frequencies change multiple times daily the machine just wasn't working. About 2 weeks ago I finally received my VECTTOR machine! I was calling Dr. Rhodes office all the time about the arrival - I completely felt like I was bugging them to death. I'm back to having pain like I did before I left for Texas. I started my treatments a few weeks ago. I'm understanding everyday why it's so important to receive treatments away where you can relax. You know, I try my hardest to be a good mom, but I'm exhausted. We get up in the morning and I drive Hais to school. Come home and be with Payton until he takes a nap. If I'm actually having a good day which a far and few between then I might pick up the house a little. I've had to come to the realization that my house will never be how it used to be. As long as my RSD is bad, it's just going to have to be a little dirty and there's going to be dishes in the sink.
My treatments are going ok, it's just really hard trying to get both treatments in before I pick up Hailee from school. Payton has been having a really hard time sleeping lately. After the kids are in bed, I start my night treatments. I've been so tired I usually fall asleep during my treatment and wake up when the machine beeps at me. I drag myself to my room - get undressed, brush my teeth and wash my face. Then crawl in bed and pass out. In Texas I was able to sleep all day long so my body could start to heal. Here at home, I'm trying to adjust my life accordingly and be a mom at the same time.
It's hard for someone who's never experienced this pain to understand. You see me and see my smiling but you don't see past the smile and see the retching pain on the inside and see how I'm physically and mentally exhausted. The only thing I want in the whole world is to be a good mom and wife. Yes, I'd love to be pain free again at some point you realize that you have this for life. I can be in remission, but the pain can always come back. I'm really grateful to have a few people in my life who truly know what I'm going through and can sympathize.
I predict the treatments to take a few months to start working. It's crazy how much my body can change in even 30 minutes. I'm really grateful for this new machine and how it can properly adjust to treat me the way my body needs it to. I'm still fighting with the insurance company because they won't pay for my treatments. I still owe family members about $3500 they let us borrow so i could go to Dr Rhodes. I find myself each day with so much on my plate to accomplish and I'm lucky if one of those things happens. I'll keep you updated soon.
